


Wait for Me

by Unholy_Author



Category: Ataraxy
Genre: F/F, Spoilers, and I needed at least one of them to know, because the end of the series made me so emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25773361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unholy_Author/pseuds/Unholy_Author
Summary: When love goes beyond lifetimes and overcomes everything, it's not easily forgotten.
Relationships: Bellona/Linnie
Kudos: 1





	Wait for Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my friend Syd, who eternally inspires me and can make me emotional over pretty much anything. Happy Birthday <3

The dreams started unexpectedly. At first, Linnie thought that perhaps they were just the work of her overactive imagination after listening to Bellona talk about her past. It started simply enough, after all. Dreams about mud caking her skin and ash in the air that she could taste with every ragged breath. In the dreams, she always felt like there was something she needed to do, something important that she was forgetting. Sometimes, Linnie felt scared.

She tried to forget about them. Linnie had already had anxiety for most of her life, strangely anxious dreams were hardly uncommon for her. These new ones were admittedly more vivid and bothered her more than the usual dreams for reasons she couldn’t quite explain… but that didn’t mean anything, right? It also didn’t mean anything that when she woke from these dreams in the middle of the night, sweating and on the verge of a panic attack because the dreams only got more vivid and alarming over time, the only thing that could calm her was seeing Bellona. 

Linnie hadn’t told Bellona about the dreams. She was afraid that… oh, she wasn’t even sure what she was afraid of. Maybe that Bellona would finally realize her anxiety was worse than she’d let on, maybe that she would decide that Linnie was too much for her to deal with, no matter what she said. Either way, Linnie kept the dreams to herself. 

When she woke from them now she only looked to the other side of the bed, watching Bellona sleep for a while before it was clear she wouldn’t be going back to sleep herself. Linnie stood, putting on her house slippers and heading to the kitchen silently. She needed to calm down. Maybe think about what she’d seen. The dream that night had been the most intense of them all, waking up with her heart pounding and eyes filled with tears. She didn’t even know why. In her dream, she’d been standing before some huge mound of rock and dirt that… she somehow knew was important. The most important thing in the world. She couldn’t let anyone too close to it or they would learn its secret. Her secret. What… what was it? Linnie rubbed at her face, frowning to herself. The feelings of the dream, desperation and fear and more than a bit of regret, had followed her through waking and she had no idea what to do about it. But she figured that, like most problems, they wouldn’t seem so bad after a cup of tea and some sugar.

With that thought in mind, she turned on the electric kettle and pulled out some cake from the fridge, absently swiping up some icing with a finger and licking it off as she methodically picked out a teabag and mug. It only took a few minutes for the kettle to boil and Linnie poured the water into the mug, watching as color immediately swirled out from the bag. Sitting down at the kitchen table, she poked at the cake with a fork as she continued to watch the tea brew. She took a few deep breaths, trying to let her mind wander away from the dream and the feelings it had brought up in her.

She knew, logically, that it would do nothing for her to linger over them. It was the same advice always given for anxiety, don’t dwell. Don’t let the thoughts consume you. Acknowledge them, maybe think about where they came from, and try to move on so they couldn’t control you. 

But something about these dreams made her feel so strange. There was something that she was forgetting. Something that she was supposed to have done and didn’t. Why didn’t she do it? What was it? It was honestly kind of driving her a little bit mad.

“Linnie? Are you all right?” a tired but infinitely familiar voice mumbled from behind her. With a slight start, Linnie turned toward the entrance to the kitchen. Bellona was there, in one of Linnie’s sleep shirts and with a blanket from their bed wrapped around her shoulders.

“Bellona, what are you doing awake?” she asked with surprise. 

“My pillow walked off,” Bellona grumbled, coming over to the table and sitting across from her, taking her mug and drinking from it for a moment before handing it back. “Could you not sleep?”

“I’m fine, just… had a weird dream,” Linnie said with a dismissive smile.

“What was it about?” Bellona asked, yawning. She shifted a bit in her seat, pulling the blanket tighter around her. Linnie hesitated, earning herself some more time by taking a bite of cake.

“I don’t really know,” Linnie finally admitted. “It was hard to understand, it just made me feel strange. I’ll come back to bed in a minute. I’m sorry I woke you up.” Bellona waved a hand, completely unconcerned.

“It is no matter. I will stay with you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Linnie said quickly. Bellona’s face darkened just slightly and she looked away.

“I have a… more difficult time sleeping when I’m alone.” Linnie blinked at that and then she softened, her expression smoothing into a gentle smile filled with affection.

“Yeah, me too,” she said. “I’ll just be another minute. I think I just needed to get my mind off of it. Do you want me to make you some tea, too?”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll just wait for you,” Bellona said.

_Wait for me!_

Linnie hesitated, blinking down at her mug. Those words… they echoed inside of her mind. With them rose those horrible feelings once more, this time drenched in guilt. Why would she feel guilty? Where did these words come from? Was she remembering more of those weird dreams or was this something else?

“However, if you take too long I _will_ fall asleep out here,” Bellona warned. Linnie mentally shook herself, giving a thin smile.

“Right, sorry.” Linnie didn’t exactly hurry through the rest of her tea and cake, but she was sure not to dally, either. With Bellona next to her, obviously trying very hard not to nod off in the kitchen chair, head dipping every once in a while before jerking back up as she caught herself, those unknown feelings and dreams didn’t seem to plague her nearly as much. Bellona always did seem to comfort her and protect her, whether it was from a very real bitchy ex-classmate or from her own mind. Linnie loved her for it.

When she finished her midnight snack, Linnie rinsed her plate and mug in the sink and put them in the dishwasher before going back to the table and gently tapping Bellona on the shoulder, making her jerk slightly.

“What? What is it?” she asked quickly, like she hadn’t just been half-asleep.

“Time to go back to bed,” Linnie said. Bellona yawned and nodded, standing up and pushing her chair back in before making her way back to the bedroom.

With the blanket trailing behind her, it almost looked like Bellona was wearing a cloak.

The two of them settled back down in bed but when Linnie moved to lay on her side, Bellona pulled her closer.

“Sleep on me,” she said. “I have always found dreams more pleasant when you have someone near you.” Linnie blinked owlishly at that but then sighed with something close to relief, gratefully scooting closer and letting Bellona wrap her arms around her. They were quiet for a few minutes, both of them simply laying together and listening to the sound of their joint breathing.

“I… have some experience with dreams that keep one awake at night,” Bellona suddenly said, her voice slow and measured, like she was carefully weighing each word before they left her tongue. “I know that there is not much I can do to prevent them, or to make them go away, but if there is anything I can do that would comfort you or make them more bearable, please let me know. I love you. I want you to know that I am here for you, even if you insist that these dreams don’t bother you.” Linnie sat up at that, looking down at Bellona with surprise. She’d never been one to readily admit her feelings, but just then she looked and sounded so sincere and serious that it made Linnie’s chest feel warm.

“Of course. Thank you, my Bell,” Linnie said with a soft smile, kissing Bellona’s cheek before settling once more, closing her eyes and burying her face in Bellona’s collarbone.

Unseen above her, Bellona froze. That name… Bellona’s mind was suddenly overtaken by her last interaction with Loretta, with those words that she didn’t hear but had agonized over for lifetimes.

It… it couldn’t be. It was coincidence, nothing more.

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Want more of my work? Check me out [on Twitter! ](https://twitter.com/UnholyAuthor)


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